What is stress, and when does it harm?
A stressor is the event that sets stress off: a deadline, a money problem, a relationship difficulty. Stress is our reaction to such events. According to the presentation, a moderate level of stress can be useful; stress hormones give the body resources in an emergency. What does harm is stress that becomes chronic and that a person feels exceeds their ability to cope.
Selye divided the stress response into three phases: alarm, resistance and exhaustion. If stress lasts for months, disease risk rises in the exhaustion phase. Chronic stress is described as impairing frontal lobe function (the front part of the brain) and increasing susceptibility to disease through interactions between the immune and nervous systems. Among 3,730 petroleum workers whose job stress increased, a higher diabetes risk was reported over 12 years.
Seligman’s three dimensions of a happy life
- The pleasant lifeFamily, friends, environment and basic needs.
- The good lifeDiscovering your strengths and using them for others.
- The meaningful lifeServing a purpose bigger than yourself.
The same event, a different load
The same exam or night shift creates different stress in two people, because between the event and the reaction sits a step of interpretation: “Does this matter? Are my resources enough?” Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) builds on this idea: the emotional reaction is shaped not only by the event but also by underlying beliefs. The aim is not to run from the event but to think about it in a more balanced way.
In one example from the presentation, the thought “if I fail this exam I will never become a doctor” counts as fortune-telling (predicting the future as if it were certain); a more balanced version is “one exam does not decide my career.” How we cope matters too: the best outcomes appear in people who balance problem-focused and emotion-focused approaches, while avoidant ways such as alcohol, substances or withdrawal are linked to worse outcomes.
Happiness grows most when our focus shifts from ourselves to others and to a purpose bigger than ourselves.
Small tools that calm the body
The stress response runs on the sympathetic system: pulse and breathing speed up, digestion slows. The relaxation response engages the parasympathetic system, which handles repair and rest. The presentation lists deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, music and bright light as techniques with supporting evidence and few side effects. The target for deep breathing is 6 breaths per minute; at first you count with a clock, and over time you do it without one.
Morning light is named as a shared tool for both sleep and stress. Walking in nature lowered cortisol and blood pressure more than walking in the city, and a short nap can boost energy. The effect of exercise carries on after the workout, but watching sports is no substitute for exercise. The music studies are small and old, so they are not firm proof. Caffeine and alcohol do not treat stress: caffeine can raise stress hormones, and alcohol can weaken the capacity to cope.
Where happiness lives: a purpose bigger than ourselves
Seligman, a pioneer of positive psychology, studied what makes people happy through large surveys. According to the presentation, happiness develops most when attention shifts from oneself to others: discovering one’s strengths and using them for others, and serving a purpose bigger than oneself, are part of that stage. Happy people also feel pain in trauma; the difference is that they tend to believe life will get better and to recover faster. The presentation links happiness with longer life, more stable marriages, more creativity and more generosity.
The tools are simple. In a gratitude journal you handwrite three things you are thankful for each day, look at the day’s good events by asking “why did it happen, what went right?” and reread the journal when your mood is low. Optimism practice looks for the possible good outcome in every situation, and forgiveness, as a way to leave the past behind, is described as the second building block of happiness. For anger, the presentation suggests: accept it, pause before reacting, avoid causing harm, and focus on the problem, not blame.
Meaning, purpose and community
In the places known as Blue Zones (Ikaria, Sardinia, Okinawa, Loma Linda), people live long. The presentation notes that these communities have stress too and that the difference may lie in how they cope with it. In Okinawa, a sense of life purpose called ikigai is reported to be linked to lower mortality and better mental health. Social ties and community support appear protective, and regular attendance at religious services was linked to lower death rates in women in one study. Whatever one’s faith, a sense of meaning, purpose and community may support health.
None of this replaces medical treatment. The presentation stresses that in mild to moderate depression and anxiety, lifestyle plays an important role, but as a support added to medication. If in the past month you have often felt low or hopeless, or lost interest or pleasure in things, see a physician; asking for help is not a weakness. Decisions about medication and treatment are made together with your physician.
Further reading
- Li et al., JAMA Intern Med, 2016 (religious service attendance and mortality)
Sources
- A Syndrome produced by Diverse Nocuous Agents Selye H. Nature, 1936;138:32
- Effect of Changing Work Stressors and Coping Resources on the Risk of Type 2 Diabetes: The OHSPIW Cohort Study Lian Y, Sun Q, Guan S ve ark. Diabetes Care, 2018;41(3):453–460
- Positive psychology progress: empirical validation of interventions Seligman MEP, Steen TA, Park N, Peterson C. Am Psychol, 2005;60(5):410–421
- Blue Zones: Lessons From the World's Longest Lived Buettner D, Skemp S. Am J Lifestyle Med, 2016;10(5):318–321
- Association of Religious Service Attendance With Mortality Among Women Li S, Stampfer MJ, Williams DR, VanderWeele TJ. JAMA Intern Med, 2016;176(6):777–785
Last updated: October 2026